The Savvy Entrepreneur

Continuing our discussion on using questions to effectively network and build lasting relationships, today I’ll share with you points to remember when preparing your list of questions and actually weaving them in a conversation.

• It’s not an inquisition. If the person you’re speaking with feels like they’re being grilled, then the exact opposite effect of what you’re trying to achieve will come about. You’ll turn people away and create a terrible reputation.
• Pay attention to the person. Be focused on the other person. Avoid distractions, like looking at others, your watch or your ringing cell phone (in any case, your cell phone should be off when in a meeting or while networking).
• Don’t rattle off a list of pre-planned questions. Be genuinely interested in the other person and be naturally curious about what they’re telling you.
• Really listen. In coaching, this is called “active listening” which is hearing what the person is saying verbally and non-verbally. It’s listening without thinking about what you’re going to say next.
• Be sincere and honest. Don’t say things like “That sounds interesting,” “I understand,” “Me too!” or “I know what you’re talking about” if you really don’t mean it.
• Keep track of time. Especially if this is a first encounter. If you are at a formal networking event or social gathering, don’t hog one person’s time. After all, you’re both there to mingle and meet different people. Keep an initial meeting to only a few minutes. Make an appointment to meet or follow-up in the near future.
• Don’t get too personal. As you build on your existing relationship, the other person will share personal topics as their know-like-trust factor in you increases.
• Have an end result in mind. Get information from them that pertains to you. Get them interested in what you do. Make the next appointment (meet for coffee, follow-up call).

Most of these points are obvious common sense. Increasing your know-like-trust factor is a marketing strategy that you want to develop and perfect. It’s not something you can rush, so be patient. If the relationship is worth it, it’ll pay off in the long run — and I don’t just mean monetarily. Keep in mind that by using questions to get to know the other person better, you’re showing your willingness to serve first, not sell.

Next, I’ll give examples of questions I use when meeting someone for the first time at a networking event.