Time to Turn on the Charm
May 16th, 2007 by Cristina Favreau
Don’t feel like reading this post? Listen to it here.
Today’s success tip seems like such a simple thing, but is highly underrated. It’s really easy and the best part is, it makes everyone around you feel good. I’m referring to the power of charm!
Let me preface this by saying I’m NOT advocating dishonesty or hypocrisy. By using the 5 points found below with sincerity and honesty, you’ll achieve the goal of making others feel special and inciting them to get to better know-like-trust you. If you’re insincere or too attached to the outcome, it’ll be transparent and you’ll raise feelings suspicion and mistrust.
Rule #1: Be sincere and honest.
The formula is simple and is referred to as the
- Acceptance. The authors define acceptance as “unconditional positive regard.” You show acceptance by smiling with genuine happiness at seeing someone. Think back to the last time someone gave you a glowing smile and warm handshake as soon as they saw you. Didn’t you feel happy and esteemed? Those are the feelings you’ll stir in others by your acceptance.
- Appreciation. When you appreciate someone, their self-esteem increases. Showing appreciation is as simple as an expression of gratitude or thanks, and goes a long way to making that person feel capable, valuable and noticed.
- Approval. The easiest way to show your approval is by offering sincere praise for something a person has done. When you show you approve someone non-judgmentally, they’ll see you as a very perceptive person, highly likeable and — yes — extremely charming.
- Admiration. Admiration is demonstrated by offering a genuine compliment. This is easier than it sounds, because when you’re looking for something positive to compliment, you’ll find it each time. No matter how big or small, offering sincere kudos is a sure way to appeal to others.
- Attention. Some ways of giving your attention is by active listening, direct eye contact and body language (nodding in agreement, tilting your head when they speak, mirroring, etc). Nothing makes a person feel more important than when you’re giving them your undivided attention.
When using charm, remember to be:
- sincere
- honest
- selfless
- transparent
- free of ulterior motives
- free of expectation
- unattached to the outcome
In conclusion, use charm — the lost art of persuasiveness — to improve your business and personal relationships, to win the support of others, to improve your negotiating skills and to get more of what you want.
Join the conversation on my blog and let us know what you think about using the power of charm to make others feel good and attract more people to you.
