We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. — Carlos Casteneda

If your business is making you miserable, spend your energy into making yourself strong instead of wasting it on trying NOT to be miserable!

Ain’t it funny how one small word changes everything?

Getting fired is nature’s way of telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place. — Hal Lancaster

OK, so as a VA you’re not going to get fired. Here are your signs that you’re in “the wrong job”

• You have no clients, despite your concerted efforts at marketing
• Clients ‘break up’ with you after only a few months of service
• You dread picking up the phone each time it rings
• You wonder if the VAs who brag about how much they love their clients are for real. You think either their faking it, or there’s something wrong with you
• You feel like if you sign up and take just one more course, THEN you’ll be good enough, get more clients, and love your ‘job.’

If you experience any of these feelings, it doesn’t mean you’re not fit to be a VA (although it’s possible), it just means you’re not working with the right kind of clients and/or not offering the right kind of services.

If you experience any of these feelings, we need  to talk! I’ll help align your business with your personality and strengths.

There comes a special moment in everyone’s life, a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity, when seizes it, will fulfil his mission — a mission for which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds greatness. It is his finest hour. — Winston Churchill

This week on Positive Psychology News Daily, Yee-Ming Tan wrote an article about a coaching session she had with someone who was skeptical about the importance of discovering and working on your strengths in lieu of defining your weaknesses so you can work on them.

You already know how passionate I am about the whole strengths movement — that’s why I had to share this article with you. Hope you love it as much as I do!

Might as well use them if you’ve got them!
By Yee-Ming Tan

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. – Dr. Harold Thurman

Today’s quote was selected in line with my continuing study on the strengths movement.

You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself. — Harry Firestone 1868-1938, American businessman

Isn’t that summed up well?

Lately, you’ve heard me talk a lot about StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Go Put Your Strengths to Work. If you haven’t already done so, you need to get these books. It has been a life-changing experience for me, and I believe everyone needs to know about their strengths and talents (you may think you know, but not at this level).

I realized that I haven’t yet shared with you the results of my StrengthsFinder 2.0 assessment — my top 5 strengths. Since I’m asking candidates for my Summer Internship Program to include their assessment results in their application, it’s only fair I share mine.

NOTE: I’ve extended the internship application date to May 10 to give everyone the chance to get a copy of the book and take the assessment.

So here they are in order, my top 5 strengths:

• Individualization: People strong in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
• Learner: People strong in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.
• Activator: People strong in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.
• Responsibility: People strong in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.
• Achiever: People strong in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.

For a short description of each of the 34 themes, check out The Gallup Organization’s StrengthsFinder Instrument on the CareerTrainer site.

At first, I was in denial. I mean, I didn’t get any of the “good” ones. I viewed Responsibility as a curse — a weakness, not a strength. I viewed the description of the Individualization theme as people who are touchy-feely emotional types — HOW could it be my first, most dominant strength? I was in such denial that I was going to buy another book for a new access code to retake the test.

After sulking for a few weeks (yes, I’m that stubborn), I decided to read over my Strengths Discovery and Action-Planning Guide (the comprehensive report you get after completing the online assessment) once again, this time with an open mind.

Something very strange happened… I got a lump in my throat (I am NOT — repeat NOT — a touchy-feely emotional person). How could someone as self-aware and so in touch with the deepest aspects of my personality be moved to (near) tears by some silly test?

There was a mixture of sadness and relief.

• Sadness: I realized how much time I’ve been wasting in my business trying to do things I’m just not good at or loathe, because… well… who else is going to do them? I also mourned over the strengths I didn’t get, the ones I thought I “should” have. But those feelings blew over quickly.
• Relief: It described so clearly what I, at a gut level, know makes me different, but never had the language to describe. It also felt like someone finally “got” me — why I do the things I do, in the way I do them. Finally, it gave me a lot of clarity, because I now have a better idea of where to develop my skills, knowledge and practice, and which areas to build my business around.

Instead of fighting to get myself to do the things I’m not good at or have no desire to learn (and beating myself up for not wanting to), I’m concentrating my time, energy and money on developing my natural talents, doing what I’m REALLY good at and honing those talents. I want to be more of who I already am, not be anything I want (or have) to be.

That’s the main reason why I came up with the idea to run a Summer Internship Program, so I can build a team of people with strengths who complement (not compete with) mine, allowing me to take my business to the next level (not to sound cliché, or anything).

If you’re open to sharing, I’d love to know what your top 5 are.Discussing with others who have gone through the process is both exciting and therapeutic.

You know when you’re on to something… you’re not quite sure what, but you know you’re on the cusp of figuring it out? Well, it’s 3:30am and I’ve been up what feels like all night. I’m on to something… but I haven’t quite put my finger on it. Other than the annoyance of impending exhaustion (I’m not the least bit tired as it is, but I know it’s gonna hit me later), I’m excited about something… but I’m not sure what about…

Am I crazy?

Maybe it has something to do with reading Step 2 (Get Clear “Do You Know What Your Strengths Are?”) of Marcus Buckingham’s Go Put Your Strengths to Work book. Clarity. Doesn’t that sound exciting?

According to Buckingham:

“Your strengths are defined by your actual activities. They are things you do, and more specifically, things you do consistently and near perfection.”

“Your strengths are those activities that make you feel strong. (The flip side is also true: “An activity that makes you feel weak” is a definition of a weakness.)“

The four SIGNs of what a strength feels like to you are:

1. Success: When you do it, you feel effective.
2. Instinct: Before you do it, you actively look forward to it.
3. Growth: While you are doing it, you feel inquisitive and focused.
4. Needs: After you’ve done it, you feel fulfilled and authentic.

So how exactly does one figure out their strengths? That’s where I’m at in the process. The goal in Step 2 is to examine your actual activities throughout the week to identify your strengths. The end result will be writing 3 Strength Statements that clearly and specifically describe your strengths.

During the next week, I will go through the twofold Capture phase:

1. Whenever I find myself doing something that makes me feel good (Buckingham lists specific emotions to look for, like Powerful, On fire and Authentic), mark the activity on a green “I Loved It” page.
2. Whenever I find myself doing something that makes me feel bad (a few words to pay attention to are Drained, “How much longer?!”, and Bored), mark the activity on a red “I Loathed It” page.

(Because I have the ebook version of Go Put Your Strengths to Work, I don’t have the 20 green “I Loved It” and 20 red “I Loathed It” pages normally found at the back of the hardcover copy, so I carry a notebook around with me with those headings).

Enter insomnia.

Because I’ve started the Capture phase, it’s stirring things up inside me, and I’m mentally going through my day, making sure I didn’t miss anything. As with many people, finding the exact, perfect word is very important, but it’s not something that comes easily to me. So, I just write down the activity I’m doing, knowing it’s not quite right, hoping it’ll come to me later.

As I laid my head on my pillow at 9:45pm, I started mentally going through my “I Loved It” and “I Loathed It” lists, recalling activities I forgot to jot down. “I’ll do it tomorrow” is my typical reaction, but until “tomorrow” it screams for attention inside my head until it’s safely and indelibly spat out on paper.

A word finally hit me — mining (it may not mean much to you, but it packs a punch for me) — so I just had to get up and write it down… I know I would have forgotten it by morning (sunrise, that is). Now my head is running through a compendium of words, hoping for another breakthrough… but you know how that goes — It wouldn’t be special if it happened all the time!

Step 1 of Marcus Buckingham’s Go Put Your Strengths to Work system is to reveal and bust the 3 main myths we’ve come to believe about our weaknesses since childhood.

The first myth is: As you grow, your personality changes.

Are you part of the 66% who believe this to be true?

The truth is: As you grow, you don’t change into someone else. You don’t change your personality. You become more of who you already are.

What’s your reaction to this statement? To open the discussion on this issue, answer these 3 questions honestly:

1. How does the myth serve you?
2. What would it cost you to stop believing this myth?
3. How would it benefit you to believe the truth?

As an avid student of the Enneagram, I embraced this truth years ago. However, it’s not a concept I readily accepted. I took it as good news/bad news.

Bad news, because it sounded like all my hopes for future growth and unlimited potential were lost. I always thought I’d get over and rise above the worst aspects of my personality as I matured, gained life experience and worked at improving myself.

Once I realized the benefits of accepting this truth outweighed the cost of believing the myth, it was good news, because I was no longer waiting for “the change” to take place. I could take immediate action to improve on behaviors and habits I knew no longer served me.

Accepting this truth doesn’t mean you can’t grow. It means accept yourself for who you are, strengths and weaknesses. It means stop striving to be who other people think you should be and start listening to your own voice.

Your distinct, unchanging personality is what will distinguish you from anyone else in your industry.

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As longtime member of the Virtual Business Group (free annual membership in 2008), one of the perks is its Book Club — a benefit I hadn’t taken advantage of until late last year. Boy, am I glad to be participating in this months’ activities, since we’re discussing Marcus Buckingham’s Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance.

This is turning out to be a life-changing book for me.

In the introductory chapter, Buckingham explains the emerging strengths movement — a technique to getting unstuck, taking back control of your time, and steering yourself towards your strengths and away from your weaknesses.

It may sound simplistic at first, but it’s not that easy. A little less than 2 people out of 10 succeed in capitalizing on their strengths. Why? Society puts more emphasis on identifying and improving our weaknesses as opposed to working toward and favoring our strengths — it’s what we’ve been programmed to do since childhood.

The strengths movement, and more particularly this book, is about becoming one of the 2 out of 10. It’s about moving beyond a label and putting your strengths to work — identifying what is best and most effective in you and applying it in the real world.

The 6 steps walk you through a practical process of sorting through your everyday activities and pinpointing which ones invigorate you and which ones deplete you. Discover how to get more of what “juices” you and steer away from everything else. Find out how to to push vs. being pulled. Learn how to explain what you’re doing persuasively enough to get others to help you (and hopefully they’ll participate in the process too).

The 6 steps are:

1. Bust the Myths — So, What’s Stopping You?
2. Get Clear — Do You Know What Your Strengths Are?
3. Free Your Strengths — How Do You Make the Most of What Strengthens You?
4. Stop Your Weaknesses — How Can You Cut Out What Weakens You?
5. Speak Up — How Do You Create Strong Teams?
6. Build Strong Habits — How Can You Make This Last Forever?

How can this book help you run and market your business? The benefits are more numerous than I can come up with, but here’s a list to get you started:

• You are an expert at something. Once you’ve figured it out, you can clearly communicate and market it.
• Build your business around your unique specialty and carve your own little niche.
• By pinpointing what invigorates you, it’s easier to delegate activities that deplete you. (Can you believe there are people out there who actually LOVE to do what you HATE doing?)
• By concentrating mainly on activities that inspire you, you will be more productive, fulfilled and you’re more likely to stick around.
• By being very clear on your specific strength areas, you won’t be sidetracked by other opportunities.
• You will still have to do activities that aren’t the most exciting for you, but your focus will intentionally be tilted toward the stimulating ones and away from the others.

While I don’t know where this journey will lead me and my business (that’s a scary thought), I am keeping an open mind and remaining curious about the discoveries and breakthroughs I’ll make along the way.

I’m SUPER excited about this process (can you tell?) and I look forward to applying it in my life, my business, and using to help clients get unstuck. I’ll be sharing my journey with you, through each of the 6 steps.

Sound like fun? Start your own journey to see where it takes you!

If you’ve already subscribed to the strengths movement, I’d love to hear how it’s helping you in your business.

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